Over these last few years as Chooselifewarrior has expanded and my accounts have grown, I’ve definitely been loved and supported. Yet there is always one thing I can count on. No matter the topic self love, body positivity, feminism, outfits of the day, fashion, love, my eating disorder recovery there are always people who are obsessed with ONE part of me.
It is usually some sort of outdated, unjustified, judgement based on my photo. Based on my size. Based on my Fat.
They throw around the words health, self love, obesity, fat, glorify and role model. They want me to justify, explain and buy into societies belief that all fat people are the same. They want me to conform, they want me to be ‘caught out’, they want me to basically admit that I am unhappy – they are right and that all fat people have to be given ‘tough love’. Us fat people need to be told ‘LOSE WEIGHT! STOP EATING & EXERCISE’ because apparently we don’t do those things and or are less than if we don’t.
The onslaught of indirect and direct fat shaming and or health shaming comments have made me on more than a few occasions want to bang my head against a brick wall. So here are 10 things I want fat shamers to know.
1. Contrary popular societal opinion, Fat peoples health is none of their god damn business.
Do I come onto your Facebook page and comment under your *Smiling at the club photos where you’re holding a beer* and start telling you about the potential health complications from alcohol consumption? Or recommend you stop drinking? Or ask if later on in the night you took recreational drugs? Maybe I should check if you got enough sleep that night too because otherwise you might glorifying sleep deprivation? perhaps glorifying binge-drinking! But no I don’t do that do I Stephanie. I don’t do that because if I did… guess what! I’d probably be making a whole lot of inaccurate assumptions and oh also it’s your fucking life and it’s none of my fucking business! Do not assume my health status because of my body or think you have any right to insert yourself into something you know nothing about. Also ‘healthy’ isn’t a superiority stool on which you can look down and condescend.
2. Fat is not attractive to you.
Yeah I’ve got absolutely no fucks to give on that one.
3. Don’t bullshit me with the words like ‘concern’ and ‘care’.
You do not care or are at all concerned for me. Otherwise instead of hijacking the comments section telling me about myself, my health and my condition, (even though you don’t know me). You’d shut the Fuck up and listen to what I am actually saying. No matter what you’ve been told about the obesity epidemic it is not okay to assume anything about my weight, PERIOD.
4. Most of us have grown up in societies rife with judgement regarding body types and specific stigmas and judgements around Fat people. If you are some one who really loves to comment on fat peoples photos, thinking that by highlighting health risks and trying to encourage them to lose weight you’re being a mighty fucking hero this one is for you.
I would recommend you go and do some reading on the health at every size movement, about fat activism, heck even talk to fat people and LISTEN. Try just to understand that a lot of what you think you know about fat people and their bodies could be totally wrong. This is because, it probably is. Do some research, read some books, if you are so against ‘The Fat Acceptance’ and activism movements why not ask yourself why! What we have learnt about fat bodies and bodies is beyond messed up. So pretend you’re learning about fat bodies, fat minds, fat lives and different types of fat people. We are not one person, we are all different. Just like you and anyone else on the planet! Start from scratch and go from there.
5. You realise that I don’t care about your comment at all, right?
You have not saved me. You have done nothing other than regurgitate the same bullshit that is thrown at me every where I look in this image obsessed, immortal seeking “health” bullshit society? So no you’re not some person who is “helping others” you’re actually just being a dick. Also maybe see the next point #6. You may just need a hug and some help.
6. Do you hate your horrible life? or self? This one is for my fat-shamer who doesn’t even try to veil their fat shaming comments with health or ‘love’.
Do you just flat out make fun of fat people. Do you think they are disgusting, lazy, smelly. Do you bully? Well the thing I would like to say to you is, are you okay?! Some people who bully or belittle others do so because of insecurities or sadness within themselves. If you find yourself happier after bullying/trolling or hurting others – just know you can live a happier, kinder and much more productive life. I hope you choose to. You can do better.
7. …BUT let me guess you are just trying to be nice and still respectful?
Even though you’re making false assumptions, completing missing the point of my content and also calling me not body positive even though body positivity is for everyone. Before you even start with the ‘Well don’t put yourself out there if you can’t handle criticism or opinions’. Yeah boo I see you, and no once again you’re just being a dick. A dick who is trying to excuse their dick’ish’ behaviour, but trying to seem not like a dick. Dick.
8. All that commenting effort you use on me? Do you know you could be patting kittens, knitting mittens or just plan ass watching Netflix.
Don’t waste you’re time on me honestly. I am okay. I’m fat, I know it. It’s cool. You need a chill pill and maybe to follow other people who’s simple existence doesn’t piss you off so much. There is like a billion people on Instagram who fit the ‘societal’ body type of healthy, they are all cool awesome people too. Just maybe if you didn’t hate stalk me or source fat people to ‘save’ you wouldn’t put so much negativity in the world. Maybe head back up to #6 again if you just like to hate on fat people.
9. Your best friend, brother or your mom was fat/ is fat and was/ is unhappy.
I am so sorry they were unhappy and I hope they found happiness and contentment. Yet being fat doesn’t mean you automatically hate anything about your life or body. You may have even been or known a fat person who lost weight and is now 100 times happier, that’s cool. Or you know someone who had major complications and health problems so you’re just letting me know before it’s ‘too late’. Hold up none of those realities might happen for me and it definitely doesn’t mean you know me. Not all fat people are carbon copy. Yes it is possible to be fat and happy. Truly happy. Or fat and losing weight. Or fat and healthy. So many possibilities. You’re one experience or fat people story doesn’t translate to my life.
10. I’m good – really I am.
Also I do truly wish you luck and happiness. Luck because not all of us have come to the body positive, acceptance and love party just yet. Maybe no one has challenged your beliefs or quick judgements yet. Maybe you just need a chance to be educated. I don’t wish you harm or unhappiness. Yet if you don’t want to learn about me or view my content with respect, you best know you will be blocked. If you don’t want to open your eyes, challenge your prejudices or understand that shaming (health or otherwise) doesn’t help anyone than that is your life. Yet know there is a place for you here, to be a better human, to expand your horizons and maybe just maybe let go of all the media hyped bullshit you’ve learnt about beauty, happiness and health.
11. Also Fat-Shamer or Health-Shamer you can be happy too, go on I dare you, just don’t fat shame or health shame.